Cynic & Cranky

Practical ---------------------------- ------- Filmy Active ------------------------------------- Sleepy Fly ----------------------------------------Walk (even crawl) Deep -------------------------------------- Superficial Study -------------------------------------Office, Home that’s it……no life beyond that. Prudent about future ---------------------- Don’t even think of that (kal ki kal dekhi jay gi) Progressive, Ambitious --------------------no spark, no aims, no goals Linguistic ----------------------------------always poor choice of words So let it go!!! But you can’t suppress the dejection, can you? You can’t control what you are thinking, can you? Bear it until you get the replacement or start anti-depressant. What about smoking?? Alcohol??? Naaahh that would be above limit.

It is from my past experiences that I started believing in “Happiness comes when you least expect it” While thinking on it I ended up in this (may be blasphemous) thought that to sustain His supremacy Allah sometimes gives you when you dropped every single hope of getting that particular thing. Elaborating it little more, when you have hope you are considering your wish as one possibility that could happen but when you losses all hopes you start considering the wish as impossible in a way so there He comes with His supremacy and gives you what you have been longing for so long (pun intended). But the fact is you can’t loose hope willingly it’s a time dependant phenomenon.

1)Amazingly sometimes even webmaster of some public websites do reply of your inquiries. 2)Always check your all inbox regularly (at least once a week) since sometimes your problem have been solved/ your supplication have been answered while you still mourning and bewildering.

In quest of contentment, I am blowing hot and cold, moving back and forth of two extremes. To summarize what I am upto these days. At times, I listen Moulana Tariq Jameel thought provoking and breath taking lectures with such reverence that sometimes I cry all my eyes out and read astaghfar repenting all my wrongdoings. Some other time, I watch movie and search on net about movie reviews :-S.

Grrr...today I wrote 8 pages in urdu after almost 6yrs(was actually writing the most important letter of my whole life so far)....and it took me around 3 hrs :-s I lost my writing speed but increased my typing speed in these years:-)

I exactly dont know what to write....I am in continuous pain of reticence and regret..... Apart of my personal life pain..I am tortured by strangers...I dont know why men want to get acquainted with every girl and women they see; crossing road or standing on bus stop or walking along footpath....I used to come to my workplace by bus and have to walk(around 5 minutes) .... thats terrible experience for me every day ...infact every morning :S :S :S :S... if you are a girl every passing by rikhshaw/cab driver stares at you, every car wala gives horn (offering you a ride to your destination) and strangest of all sometime want to ask you silly things like "you works there???" those who have seen you quite times. Its rubbish did ever I asked you "WHERE THE HELL YOU WORK??" Just couples of days back, an uncle bump into when I was crossing road and lead me while crossing road as I am 5 yrs old kid and cant find way in heavy traffic :s laters when I reached the bus stop he s...

Some days back, me and my sister went to my friend's sis and bro wedding function. He invited me in two functions i-e; mehendi and vlaima but I couldnt go to meheni as were attending too many weddings lately and my bro is pissed off by his sisters' large friend's circle. Anyways, the wedding was fantabulous and I regret for not pursuing bro to atend mehndi as well. I am sure, it was as royal as was the valima . Being alone there (of course my sister was with me but; and by 'being alone' here I mean not knowing anyone else than my sister, no other female friend was invited) we were discussing about the guest and things around. After being hugely impressed by decor and setup I said to sis "Shadi ho to aisi ho" some moemnts later (may be I was afriad; as they say any moment can be THE moment when God answers our prayers) I added " warna bhi ho jay (chalo)" :-D